There is a revelation coming

Stay tuned because I have been spending a lot of time in the bathroom.

http://www.hiram.be/
http://vfwwebcom.org/blog/
http://masonictraveler.blogspot.com/
http://mitolionsclub.org/
http://www.masonictao.com/
http://losarquitectos.blogspot.com/
http://lesarchivesdesalilus.hautetfort.com/
http://mitolionsclub.org/ltd/
http://entrelescolonnes.canalblog.com/
http://blog.kingsolomonslodge.org/
http://elmason.blogspot.com/
http://massoneria.wordpress.com/
http://cemab4y.blogspot.com/
http://jihodf.canalblog.com/
http://arsmasonica.blogspot.com/
http://synearth.net/
http://fromdarknesstolight-somoteitbe.blogspot.com/
http://www.masonictravels.com/
http://smalltowntexasmasons.blogspot.com/
http://masonicobserver.blogspot.com/
http://masonicpath.blogspot.com/
http://pack632.wordpress.com/
http://chelmsfordkofc.blogspot.com/
http://masonictao.wordpress.com/
http://seattlekiwanis.blogspot.com/
http://ohiggins392.blogspot.com/
http://jtcalypso.blogspot.com/
http://international-gavel.blogspot.com/
http://community.livejournal.com/masons/
http://ecoclubesriocuarto.blogspot.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bsktcase/
http://horshamlions.blogspot.com/
http://www.deltasigs-cougs.org/
http://kalasasaya25.blogspot.com/
http://cordilleramensclubhk.blogspot.com/
http://jratcliffscarab.blogspot.com/
http://truthlurker.over-blog.com/

Let's sue!

OK, so I read about this cult in Utah that is obviously a scam. I mean, really, they sell spirit infused "nectar" that the feds swear is a form of wine, and make up some wild number of adherants based on how much "nectar" they have sold. Plus, they make "modern Mummies", mostly of people's pets, for a "donation" so the feds can't get any cash.

Now, clearly they are on to something because they have people sending them money unlike you cheap bastards. So am I going to have to sell goods and services? It's bad enough I have to file for non-profit status, which is going to cost me. Now I have to actually find something to sell you? Why can't you act like good cultists and just send me cash?

I have another plan though. See, these guys started donating statues of their holy bullshit to cities in Utah that have the Ten Commandments on monuments in parks. The idea is that any city that has one has to accept the other. Most cities get sued, say fuck it, and take down the Ten Commandments.

Now, to me, that's just dumb. Not for the cities. If they let them post their bullshit, before too long you couldn't ever walk through a park because they'd all be packed with monuments for anything people dream up. I think parks are usually a good thing, and I certainly don't want to have to stand by and wait while my dog takes a leak on 200 monuments.

So here's the game plan. I am going to announce I am going to donate monuments to our credo every place that has a the Ten Commandments. Then when there is massive outrage I'll agree to cancel the donation as long as the "costs" are offset. I figure 10 cities a year at $25k each should be enough.

Let me explain something

There are 2 reasons we don't allow reproduction in the cult, or new members with kids.

First, since you remarry every other year the changing of step-parents every 2 years can't be good for the kids. Second, since I (and only I) am once again allowed to be a polygamist I don't want anything that looks like that whole FLDS mess where people think we're breeding so dirty old men can have sex with children. I may be dirty, and I am getting old, but banging minors is just wrong, even in a cult.

But, you say, you have a kid! Keep in mind, I don't trade wives; I add them. So my son just ends up with extra step-moms, and not a step-mom rotating door. Second, I want the chain of succession to be really clear so, if I die, and anyone claims I named them my successor, you'll know they are full of shit.

Some people really make polygamy look bad

OK, I have condoned polygamy in the past. Yes, it was only for myself, but that is beside the fact.

But when I condoned it I was not talking about banging 13-year olds. That's just fucking sick people.

If you have your own cult, and want to marry a lot of women, go ahead. I don't care. But marry WOMEN. I mean over 18! Yes, I know the age of consent here in Texas is 17, but, still... 18 PEOPLE.

Oh, and if you have kids with all these wives, don't pretend you aren't married and send the chick off to the welfare office.

Some people just give cults a bad name!

OK...we have a problem

Well, it seems that Texas is increasing the tax on strip clubs, I mean girl's homes. So I need more contributions so I can go out and reach out to these poor souls.

Please contribute what you can so we can continue good works.