Regarding Divorce

I know that cult members who are also regular readers of Scared Bunny have noticed there is a problem with cult doctrine; specifically, the doctrine which forbids divorce in favor of annulment. It seems the State of Texas refuses to acknowledge our religious teachings and has decreed that I cannot annul my current marriage. I have fought them with all the cult’s financial resources, but those efforts have not achieved anything. Of course, as we have no financial resources because the members of my cult are not meeting their tithing requirement, the efforts consisted of me going out to my back yard and screaming that I wanted an exception made.

So, as we cannot change the law, TDTBNL has kindly granted me a revelation. As his representative on Earth I am now allowed to grant divorces as necessary.

To accomplish this, the cult members needing a divorce will need to comply with 2 key requirements:

1) The union cannot have produced a child

2) There can be no marital assets to divide amongst the divorcing parties

I am sure you see that it may be hard to have no marital assets to divide so, to ease this process, these assets will be donated to the cult to further our mission. In my case I have donated said assets and allocated same as led by TDTBNL. Of course there wasn’t much, so it wasn’t that big a deal. But had there not been a revelation this could have been a real mess.

I am not saying we encourage divorces. The cult still frowns on them. But we have to be practical, and TDTBNL knows that.